would could never settle for second best. And I hope you don’t either.
These are not words of ungratefulness, but ones of acceptance that you deserve what you desire most. (If you’re willing to take the risks and do the work)
Between you and your dreams, there’s so many shortcuts and temporary fragments of happiness at arms reach. And in the moment it seems like all agency of labour, waiting, fear, uncertainty, agony….washes away. But the feeling is short-lived. And I think the moment you’ve committed to a life far from what you envisioned for yourself, is also when you’ll realize it might be too late. I think, it’ll weigh heavy on your conscience, and eat you up. And what’s worse than having all these people, places, things around you and still be unhappy?
I think the generation that I come from is one that’s too obsessed with the idea of possession. Always needing to have something in our hands. Not having plans for the weekend means you’re a loser. Not having a job means you’re lazy. Not having the latest iPhone means you’re outdated. Having a small circle of friends means you’re unpopular. These social expectations build fear and anxiety on the idea that “not having” is the absolute worst outcome in life.
Suddenly, it’s not worth the risk, the labor, the time to chase that career path or person anymore. Because we might not “have” in the end. It took me a long time to figure this out, and evenly longer to admit to myself. But I’d be happier “not having”, than to have what’s not right for me. And I’ve been learning to be content with myself to “not have”. Because I’m working for what I want most, and only that.
I’ve seen too many of my peers settle for “stable” career choices, stay around “safe” people, pursue “realistic” lifestyles, when they clearly have other ambitions in mind. And it’s a little disheartening to see themselves put out their own flame when they won’t even entertain the thought of how big it could get.
I’m here to be that voice that tells you not to throw it away. Whatever you have in mind, I don’t think it’s silly or impossible. And it’s definitely not out of your reach, at least not forever. I’m not saying it’s wrong to reach for the low hanging fruits along the way, but don’t let it stop you from climbing to the ones at the top either.
Enjoy the spontaneity. Carpe Diem. The small gifts of life that fall like snowflakes into our hands. But also, don’t let all of these distractions blur what you deserve most, the type of happiness that gently crawls under your eyelids first thing in the morning even before the sunlight does.